THE BOOK OF DEBORAH VIRUS JOKES

As my latest few purges have been sarcastic and depressing, in the spirit of trying to lighten the mood, I’ve written a silly vomit.

I was thinking. Not a good idea to start with since most of us are not that good at it. Anyway the first thought I’ll throw up is how the name Deborah, shortened to Debbie was associated with “Debbie Downer.” Why couldn’t we use Disappointed Daphne, Cathy Criticize, Frustrated Fran, or Nancy Nullify?

Or how about a couple of fella’s like Danny Dumbass, Dreadful Donald, Perturbed Pete, or Troubled Tommy. Then I reread some of my purges and it kind of makes sense. Everyone is feeling the turmoil and uncertainty of our predicament. Being cooped up with ourselves. Now, who do we blame for being in a bad mood?

Queer soul that I am, I’m kinda enjoying the seclusion. I’ve had time to make lists of all the things I want to accomplish while I’m forced to stay indoors. Problem is, by the time I’ve finished the list it’s time for dinner and vegging out. I mean that both ways. A big plate of vegetables and brain-numbing TV.

I’m having as many problems keeping on track with my writing as everyone else. My mind is distracted by the most ridiculous thoughts. Not sure I can blame a virus for that though.

One thought that puts a crease between my eyebrows is insulting. Like if someone called you a pig nose. My reply to that would be... Thanks to my pig-like nose I can smell the mushrooms growing under you Miss Fungus.

Or how about the ugly spider… Scary eyes, hairy legs. I happen to resemble that remark at the end of the day. So do you sister.

How about saying someone has balls when in fact they were acting neither courageous nor strong. Why not call them hairy, wrinkled rounds.

My last gag is about learning and eating... Hopefully, my brain is working like my stomach and digesting the useful and eliminating the waste.